The Merging of The Maiden, The Mother, The Crone, and The Caregiver

On October 2, 2022, I stepped into the role of grandmother. And in doing so, the swirl of emotions and several states of being that have been parts of me as a woman came rushing forward.

I sat in the dimly lit birthing room of the hospital. Witnessing the raw, primal goddess and mother archetype energy fills every molecule of space. What I experienced was unexpected and until now, I have not really processed it. This blog sort of provides the space for me to do that. I hope it offers you some perspectives of energies that may be within you.

The energy I was in was this…

I am becoming a grandmother. So what’s the big deal? Women move into this role every day. How did this happen? Where did the time go? Wasn’t I just a teenager? The Maiden archetype came flying in for me. The maiden is the first of the trifecta energy of Maiden/Mother/Crone. I used to be so innocent; so naive; so full of wonder; so charmed by romance; so sensual. I was focused on love, romance, sexuality, and the playfulness of attraction. I was curious about how my life would go. Would I get married? Would I have children? I danced between light and dark aspects of the Maiden. While I was curious, sexual, and full of vitality, I was also traumatized. At 15 I was sexually assaulted. Navigating the projection, rejection, shame, and worthlessness of this dominated much of my remaining Maiden voyage. 

Longing to be swept off my feet and to be rescued from my own trauma, I moved into The Mother archetype after finding love and marriage at 22. Now, I was playing in a new energy. And, I loved it. I found my reason for being at that time. This began the journey of loving, protecting, and defending my children the way I longed to be loved, protected, and defended in my maiden days and never experienced. I nurtured my babies, I held them tight, and I defended them. I was a life-giver, a provider of nourishment and unconditional love. I was creative in those times and glowed in my role. Until…the dark aspects of Mother began to show. The very thing that I nurtured was being held back due to my fear that they would experience pain. I gave all to them and then clung onto them for dear life. You see, if I held them close, I remained purposeful and free from having to look at my own darkness.  It is within the Mother archetype in its light that I understood all that I sought in my Maiden experience. True love. Freedom. Worthiness.

The beautiful birthing room filled with emotions brought me into a new relationship with myself and my daughter as she began to move from Maiden into Mother. I stepped aside and simultaneously stepped into The Crone. I knew what was happening as my daughter groaned at the impending birth of her daughter. There was no fear for me. I was reverent. In awe of her strength. Quiet in witnessing the miracle of the human experience. I have seen a lot up to this point in my life; death, rebirth, conflict, success, and failure. Wisdom has begun to emerge even though I know I have so much more to learn. I see the good in the bad and the bad in the good. I even see that all of it is an illusion. I welcome in all that life offers and run with each now moment. I see the magic in the mundane; the miracles that are everywhere. My inner wisdom has begun to drive my conscious choices. And in a beautiful circling of energies, I am finally seeing myself and experiencing myself as the Maiden and Mother that I once truly longed to be. I am reverent in the moon, sun, and stars. I let go and welcome in all things as they show up. And at the same time some of those things as they come up stay in the silence of a wise heart.

The Caregiver archetype is the secret spice that, when added to the trifecta Maiden/Mother/Crone, births The Grandmother. The Caregiver embodies qualities of compassion, grace, service, and generous gifting of time and resources for those in need. I feel this birthing in me even more powerfully as my daughter becomes a mother. “What can I do to support her? What does she need? How can I be of service?” From making meals, to changing up my service to free some space, to taking the night shift once in a while, to conversations around motherhood and offering reassurance that all is well… I offer this care with no expectations. And because I dance with the light energy of The Caregiver now, I will model for my daughter how to care for herself in addition to her family. My heart explodes as I feel her entering this fellowship of motherhood.  

Now, as I reflect upon that early morning of October 2, 2022, I feel that moment was the initiation into Grandmother. A Grandmother is all of the qualities of the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone with the Caregiver threaded throughout. The Grandmother is love embodied and freedom expressed, danced to worthiness. I stand in awe of who I have been and who I am becoming. This time is an honor and one I will cherish forever.

Grandmother.

That’s me.

Three Things to Know in This Month’s Energy

1. Mars moved retrograde on 10/30 and will remain retrograde through all of November (through 1/23 in its entirety). This brings in opportunity and the urge to make things right. How will you take action? Mars primes us to defend our highest expression and may bring trigger experiences forward as healing opportunities. Watch for too much stress at this time, both personally and in the collective. Aggression and blow-ups are possible. Mars in retrograde will ask you to look back at where you did not defend your higher self and purpose. You’ll have choices again around this. What is not right with your soul? This time be clear with your conscious choices or who you are and how you stand in your truth. BUT, watch out for being pushed into arguments. Attempting to set things straight in order to make an old situation better or correct past actions may be met with a fiery response. The eclipse on 11/8 will impact this energy by keeping things hidden that you’ll see more clearly at the end of the month.

2. There are three Power Point Periods in November. 11/1 brings in a tipping point for the collective. In this month of choice, you will be asked to TRUST like you have never before. Remember that you are the commander of your peaceful and harmonious life. Remember that neutrality dictates that ALL has the right to exist and in these energies, ALL will play out in shadow and light. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Love them for they know not what they do. This tipping point brings choice forward again and asks you to find the clarity of your soul and trust bigger than ever before. So much bigger that you choose to stand in your power without fear or terror and command your soul instead of giving it up. 11/8 brings us the full moon in Taurus and a total lunar eclipse. This eclipse is greatly affected by the Mars retrograde and the ascension renaissance will find ample fodder for lift. Flooding of high-frequency light should be expected. Ascension symptoms will be highly amplified. Remember that this eclipse closes this season that opened on 10/25. The energies you danced in during 10/04 are here as well as in April of this year. It's a big energy time. Eclipses conceal, so there is an element of unpredictability here. 11/11 brings us the Great Portal of ascension and is always dressed in the expression of duality; of feminine/masculine; of light/dark. This year will be no exception and in these additional frequencies, we will, in this month of Conscious Choice, have ample opportunity for choosing what is right with your soul. This is a powerful time to manifest. Be clear on your embodied frequency.

3. Patriarchal systems will temper tantrums, even more, this month. Expect more bursts of light to bust up more of this. It will be bumpy. Here is where the crumbling of archaic systems may be amped up. Prepare for being self-sustaining if the need arises. These breakdowns will bring everything forward to challenge you this month. You must remember that you are the commander. Trust the breakdown has purpose.  See the clarity that emerges as you allow yourself to simply be present in whatever is happening in the moment. BEINGNESS is key. It is not as important that you do anything; you must simply BE your true self. What do YOU know as truth? This is a no b.s. month. Don’t get pulled into the illusion of politics or fear-mongering. Listen to the Divine wisdom within. Are you hearing compassion? Are you BEING love? This is the energy thread that will sustain. This month of choice says, “Choose wisely.”