This past month was a huge month for supportive energies around situations of attachment and needing to look at boundaries.  

The nature of being human is to experience connection with other beings.  We navigate in relationships with others because that is how we learn, grow and evolve as people and a species.  There are levels of healthy attachment that assist us in our connection with others that allow for safe containers in which to process and experience everything from intense traumas to radical celebrations. 

This blog is not intended to be an all encompassing look at attachment.  I could write a whole series on that and perhaps in the future I may be called to do just that.  For our purposes today, I want to explore some ways in which attachment shows up, its relationship to boundaries and some guidance on how to navigate through it.

From an energy perspective, when we are in an attachment to something or someone, we are in violation of boundaries.  Yes. It is a violation of your boundaries and the other persons. Why? It is because you are infiltrating another person's choice of navigating through life by being attached to how something flows with them. Boundaries are meant to assist you to CREATE relationships and interactions that work for you.  Healthy boundaries are actually required to healthy relationships. They will nourish you once there is integration from both parties on what is needed and why. Attachment is a natural experience and function in relationships however we are moving into a space where we must release attachment and step into neutral experience of all.  This includes with our children, our spouses, our parents, our experiences, ect….  The lifting of consciousness requires that the mind (which creates attachment) let go and let the soul (which knows no attachment), lead the way into the highest timeline for each person and the human race as a collective.

So, what does attachment look like?  Here are SOME examples.  This is not intended to be a list that comes close to all types of attachments or examples of them.

• Being focused on the end result having to look a specific way

• Being in an extreme experience of anxiety or worry about a situation, event or person

• Being unable to see someone separate from you

• Jealousy

• Being unable to allow someone to choose differently than you

• Apologizing when not required

• Constant need for approval

• Ongoing, over the top texting or communication

• Need for repeat reassurances

• Feeling of pain when not in the presence of another person

• Feeling of pain when navigating change

• Difficulty maintaining relationships

• Anger issues

• Impulsivity

• The need to use substances

So, what is the relationship between attachment and boundaries?  Boundaries are needed to assist you to navigate in relationships where attachment is evident.  Here are a few examples.  

Attachment: “Fear of loss” The mother who is calling and texting their adult children several times a day.

Boundary: Adult child sets up a plan for keeping the mother informed on their status. Mother lets go and looks into the wound underneath her attachment. Is it fear of harm to her child? Is it loss of identity if she no longer needs to be in the role of mother in the same way?

Attachment: “Specific Outcome” You are navigating a new romantic relationship and have it in your head that your new partner must show up in a specific way and the relationship must have the outcome of marriage within the next year.

Boundary: Self-imposed boundary that you will step into more allowance of things to flow in a natural way and develop more trust around the outcome being perfect even if it isn’t what you anticipated. Awareness is the key.

Attachment: “Immediate response” The boss who calls you during non-work hours. The boss is needing immediate response as they are attached to the need for immediate alleviation of pain.

Boundary: Clear discussion that unless it is a job requirement that you be reached after normal work hours you ask that information be passed along to you in a different way; perhaps by email. 

What are some ways to navigate through attachment that has come into your awareness?

Here are some example of ways to support yourself in detaching:

• Forgiveness

• Serving others

• Meditation

• Understanding sovereignty

• Understanding the everything has the right to exist

• Navigating change with grace

• Digging into what you are feeling when you realize you are attached to something

This topic is a big one with deep wounding underneath its surface for each person.  Be gentle with yourself and with others when you see this. It is helpful to have someone to talk to when navigating some of these attachment awarenesses.  Be mindful to choose someone who can openly hold a loving container without their OWN attachment to how something goes.  This is a big trap many of us fall into. It is vital to not seek out people as a “partner in pain” that only will validate for you why you are right and another person is wrong.  Lovingly holding space for processing without attachment is key; and ironic.

More to come on this topic…….

Lots of love and be gentle with one another.

Three Things to Know in This Month’s Energy

• Important dates to note: 12/4 is an ascension up-level event and super new moon solar eclipse which  brings in rebirth in a big way. Energies amp up with the 12/12 portal and remain that way through solstice on 12/21. Immediately prior to solstice we have a Gemini full moon and Venus moving retrograde.  Big opportunities are love, relationships and money; releasing in the first weeks and then birthing the new in the latter. The 12/21 solstice is rich with balance opportunities and will offer situations where you can bridge into harmonious understanding with others.

• Your vibration, alignment and values are all that matters this month.  If it does not bring you joy in the experience of self as Authentic Joy, take a break or disconnect. 

• Awareness of your choice energy is here in December.  What are you aware of; abundance or lack, expansion or contraction, creation or destruction, fear or trust? Your alchemical powers will create the world you are aware of through your choices in November. Witness from a higher perspective and continue to question and rechoose your beliefs as you navigate.

I will be connecting live within the Awakening Spirit Membership each week throughout December on the topics above. If you would like to join me learn more!